Do you ever wonder why you do the things that you do? Especially when it comes to your children. I am questioning myself right now.
My children and I were exposed to domestic violence at the hands/words of their father. After a year of being separated we are still not through the court system, yet an end is close in sight. A court trial was likely but I backed out of it because of the money. Money. Does the money mean more than the safety of my kids? Or am I cutting my losses and making a deal on a proposal that still protects the kids for the most part. Is for the most part, enough?
Their father is a verbal and emotional abuser. He has been called a narcissist. He is shallow and thinks of no one but himself. He has been on supervised visits for the last year and the supervision is about to end. I am agreeing to that. I am agreeing to letting my children be alone with someone that is unpredictable and destructive. He will only be seeing them twice a week. Week one will be for six hours and week two will be for 13 hours.
What is further is that with the supervision dropping, I am going to have to transition the children directly with him. No more shelter from transitioning through a supervisor. Now we will be in public and I will once again be at his mercy.
I have grown in the last year. I am more confident and sure of myself. I KNOW that I did the right thing. I suppose I will always have the doubt in my mind that there was something more I should have done.
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