The situation like that of Josh Powell's is not alone. Just entering "father killed children 2011" in google, reveals these news stories all on the first page of results:
- Texas, December 2011: Jose Avila kills his wife and 2 children, then himself. (http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2011/12/texas_father_killed_4_children.html)
- Texas, April 2011: Gabriel Armendariz kills his 2 children: (http://www.star-telegram.com/2011/04/14/3001289/2-children-killed-in-graham-father.html)
- Maine, June 2011: Steven Lake kills his wife and 2 children, then himself. (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/06/13/maine-police-find-4-bodies-in-home/)
- Oregon, July 2011: Jordan Criado kills his wife and 4 children, then set the house on fire. (http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2011/07/babysitter_says_dead_medford_children_allegedly_killed_by_father_were_all_very_loving.html)
- New York, October 2011: Samuel Friedlander kills his wife and 2 children, then himself. (http://www.newstimes.com/policereports/article/Police-Lewisboro-N-Y-father-killed-wife-2225744.php)
We talk about being a country of independence and honesty. We talk about loving one another and caring for all. We talk about equality. We talk about having a good life.
Yet, domestic violence is obviously intrenched in our society and we either sweep it under the rug or trivialize it as a once in a while occurance. For some reason, talking about it is taboo and those that do talk about it are often seen as vying for attention or slandering the abusers reputation.
I had a brief conversation with someone this morning, as we watched the news together in a lobby. Taylor Armstrong came on set for an interview about her new book that details her experience with domestic violence. When the reporter asked her why she was writing it, the individual in the lobby says, "getting some money would be on the top of that list." How about the idea that Taylor Armstrong is on a reality TV show, where she reaches millions of women around America, and she may think that for someone to hear her story, she may be able to help them. Now, her financial situation and reputation certainly aided her in being able to publish this book, but is that the point? I started this blog initially to tell portions of my story in hopes of helping others.
Perhaps that is the difference between people like me and people like the individual in the lobby. If you have not experienced domestic violence, you simply cannot allow yourself to accept the seriousness behind it. Perhaps you think that you are better than the victims in that you would never allow yourself to become a victim of domestic violence. Perhaps you think that in the case of Josh Powell, that he simply had a brief moment where he "flew off the handle" and there were no signs that precipitated his horrific actions. Perhaps you think that the victims make it more than what it is. Perhaps you think that if you don't acknowledge it, that it will go away.
I wrote an article once on my own experience of domestic violence. I submitted it and the editor asked me, "Now what is the point of submitting this?" Taken aback by what I thought was obvious, the editor went on to say, "Are you just trying to run him through the mud?" Had my jaw not been secured to my skull it certainly would have fallen to the floor. As a survivor I want to ask, "Did you hear what you just said?"
First, I tell my story because I was in a situation of not knowing my safety from day to day. I lived in an environment where I was mentally and emotionally put down and brainwashed for years. Despite the people close to me telling me from day one that something was wrong, I never saw it. If I can put down all of the warning signs that I did see, but wouldn't acknowledge, maybe the woman next door to me, or the man down the street, or the individual in another state, would read my words, see the signs in their own relationship, and get out. The real question... "Do you think I am telling it for personal gain?"
Second, "Am I trying to run him through the mud?" Did I mention his name? Did I call him out in front of the hundreds or thousands of people that would be reading the article? I suppose that if someone was that curious about my life, they could go on the internet and find out who he is, and find the charges that are public record and thus his name. The people that already know him, know the situation, and my publishing the information does nothing for them. They already know the details and his person. The real question... "Should his crime be hidden?"
Give me a break America. It is time that we step up and start holding people accountable for their actions. If you throw your child once, are notorious for lashing out at people, are unpredictable and irresponsible... you are not safe to be alone with your children. I have not researched the personality or past actions of Josh Powell, but his wife was dead and her body not found... until he was cleared as a suspect, those children should have never been with him.
We keep saying that children do better when they have access to both of their parents and the courts should have the latitude to ensure that those relationships remain intact. We need to protect the rights of parents who are abusers and try and rehabilitate them. Tell that to the Powell boys. Life without their father would have undoubtedly been better than the short life that they had while with him.
